Day 80: Post Mortem

Mission accomplished!



While Marissa was in the ladie's room I managed to get in a fight with some 肛门 that I met at mercenary camp years ago on my homeworld. I wasn't sure it was him at first, but my trusty retinal scanner never lies! Well, sometimes it lies, but only 'cause I want it to. Rest assured, it wasn't lyin' to me last night. After consultin' my handy People Who Owe Me Money notes, I reckoned he owed me close to 500 credits figurin' in interest and all. He didn't seem all that excited to pay me back when I first made mention of this, so I had to pound the credits out of him with a wine bottle. He didn't look like he was bleedin' too bad (mostly thanks to the wine).

Not sure what I have planned for the weekend. I figure sharpening all my pointy things would be a good idea.

Day 81: Valentine's Date Preparation

Marissa's shuttle pod docked up with the ship early this morning for our Valentine's date. Below you'll see a photogram of the woman destined to receive certain services from my body. She's inspectin' her flame thrower collection for leaks. I would've offered to help but didn't on account of my bein' particularly lazy. Besides, I was too burned out from cleanin' my bunk and powerin' down chargin' stations and arrangin' flux grenades to where I wouldn't accidentally bump into them during the giving of the previously mentioned certain services from my body.



In a few days I'll post up video highlights of our date that are fit for viewin' for the general public and children folk. The rest of the video is goin' into a locked drawer for safe keepin' as I'm supposed to go to Reaver Killin' Trainin' camp next week thanks to the kind folks at Subspace Soldier of Fortune. Mmmm! Camp!

Well, I guess that's all. I'm ready to go where many men have gone before. My bunk is prepared, too, as I've sprayed enough of Kaylee's man perfume all over to where you can no longer smell the gun powder and rifle fluid. Nice.